How to support STORIES FROM MOM/DAD

Description of the STORIES FROM MOM/DAD Program

Thoughts and Reflections

How to start a STORIES FROM MOM/DAD Program in your area

Stories from Mom serves the women in Pod E of the Downtown County Jail on the 2nd and 4th Tuesday s of the month. On 2nd and 4th Thursdays, Stories From Dad conducts similar sessions at the Men's Facility at the San Francisco County Jail No. 7 in San Bruno.

Volunteers bring a selection of childrenšs books, several tape recorders, and a supply of tapes and envelopes to incarcerated parents. The parent chooses a book and the volunteers record her or his voice as they read to their child. The book and tape are then sent to the children.

Parents are encouraged to read interactively to their children; to point out features in the pictures, to count objects, asking their child to follow along in the book and learn the words, or to wonder what a character is doing or what is going to happen next. Parents often take the opportunity on tape to tell their children that they love and miss them, to work hard in school, or to be like a character in the book by telling the truth, making friends, or looking for the good in other people.

Often this experience is the only significant contact the parent and child have had in some time. Volunteers are always moved by how appreciative the parents are for this opportunity. The inmates value the dignity and respect with which they are treated.

Many of the parents talk about how their children treasure the tape they made. At Christmas volunteers gift wrap the books and tapes and this is often the only gift the child receives from the incarcerated parent.

The response to recent publicity about these programs has resulted in a flow of donated books and funds to purchase supplies.

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Click here for ways you can support the Stories from Mom/Dad program.

Here are some stories and thoughts written by our volunteers:

On Tuesday evenings, the women are usually high spirited, excited and really appreciative of the opportunity to reach out to their children. Many, being substance abusers and living an erratic existence, have their children staying with relatives or worse in foster homes or adopted out. They have frequently fallen out of touch and are afraid to call. They're afraid of anger and rejection. I mean what do you say to a kid who only sees you briefly every 6 to 15 months.

So they find this a low risk thing to do. They start the recording by saying that they really do love them and miss them and that they're sorry they aren't there for them. Then they read the story and end with reassurance and admonishments to do as they say not as they do. We then launch the book and tape through us into the void, as it were, and frequently a letter comes back, inviting a call, which opens up, and dialogue.

Let me give a couple of quick examples.

A young Vietnamese woman, maybe 21 or 22, sort of tough, came and asked if she could record a book for her little sister. She explained that she had been out of touch with her family for 16 months. Her English wasn't very good so we had to help and coach her along. She read a story and ended by drawing a lesson from it that I hadn't seen. Two weeks later she returned to read again beaming and really joyful. The family got the book and tape and had come to visit her. After that every time a book and tape arrived, they'd bring the whole extended family together to listen. I started looking for oriental books a theme and lesson. These were really a hit. She now been transferred to state prison and we remain pen pals. And though her letters I'm getting to know her family - they already know me because she'd always introduce me at the beginning of the tape and say what a great guy I am -- that's the perks and what neat people you are for sending us.

The other story, and this is short, is about Sheila who came to us very excited one night last February. Her daughter's school had just given her a commendation. Sheila had been reading with us since August. Her daughter had been really behind in reading the year before but had suddenly shown dramatic improvement. While Sheila is not a very good reader, she's earnest and animated. Her daughter started reading along with her and got hooked n reading. Then Shiela's mother started buying her granddaughter books and her teacher started sending notes of congratulation. But the really neat thing that happened was when the daughter took her tapes to school for Show 'N Tell and her classmates started asking their parents to read to them. When the teacher learned of that, she went to the Principal and they decided to give Sheila the commendation.

While stories like these are commonplace in our ministry experience, they are obviously far from commonplace.

-- Davidson Bidwell-Waite, Ministry Lead

When I think about why the reading program, Stories from Mom, is special to me, it is a feeling more than one particular instance. This feeling, as shallow as it may seem, revolves around clothes - in particular, my clothes. "I like your shoes" or "Those earrings are pretty", "cute coat", these compliments stay next to my heart. If I am wearing a pair of shoes I think might not be so great, I remember, "So-and-So from Pod E liked them, so they must be okay."

Why is this fashion commentary from the Pod E ladies so significant to me? A compliment is always nice but it is more than that. These women, who are battling forces and a system greater than I could ever imagine, take the time to look at me, to notice me as a person. If I were in their places, I don't know if I could be so giving.

It is their humanity and their individuality that comes through when we talk about my clothes and then clothes in general. Where did I buy that? What's your favorite store? Have you been to that new shoe store on Powell Street? These are the fun things about being women and girls. These are the topics these girls should be talking about instead of court dates and paroles and getting their kids back. For me, it is a privilege and a pleasure to be part of these "girlish" conversations as much as it is a privilege and a pleasure to hear them read stories to their children.

-- Elizabeth Marlow

I was especially touched by one woman whom I taped towards the end of our session as she read a Tiger Woods story to her 17 year old son. She's somewhat estranged from him and he's just going into the serivce so she's worried about him and plans to try to see him where he's stationed in Illinois as soon as she gets out. She got all choked up before we began to tape, and so I gave her a little time to get herself ready. She didn't even know if he had any interest in golf, and was sure he was way beyond the level of reading the Tiger Woods book, but she wanted to read something--anything--to him so he could just hear the sound of his mother's voice. She only read the first 2 chapters (it was a very long and copy intensive book, though she was an excellent reader) and left it to him to pick up the rest. I was deeply moved.

-- Stan Gwynn

I found the visit to Pod B to be very different. First, there were personal reasons, and probably all that I need to mention is that when I found that center where I feel ready to pray, that same night after returning home from the jail, I could remember the names of each reader, the names of his children, the book, and, for a few of them, where the book and tape would be sent. There were at least nine readers, and as I said, I remembered the information for each man when I began my prayers. I'd never had as specific recall as that, even so soon after the experience of sharing with them, when I returned home from Pod E. So, as I said, that was a very personal gift from that evening's encounter.

Second, however, is the actual difference in the atmosphere. It is quiet... almost subdued. It wasn't the same, often frenetic mood as we've witnessed in Pod E. From an emotional perspective, I have to say that more than guilt - even more than that - the element of shame was palpable in Pod B. The tension was real, but it was as different as you care to see or perceive men and women. The wants and needs are the same or, at least, similar, as is our mission.

-- Paul Worobec

Click here for detailed information on what you will need to start your own Stories from Mom/Dad program.

For information about how you can become involved with or support these ministries, contact The Rev. Margaret Deeths, 415-749-6392, jailministry@gracecathedral.org